I can't find my birth plan!

Those of you in my twins group may remember the one I'm talking about. The one I wrote up mostly out of frustration and irritation while I was pregnant with Bree. I was still hacked off about some hospital policies -mostly things that occur after the birth- from Sydney. So I wrote up my wants and want nots and gave them to my midwife who passed it around to the rest of the hospital. Note to self- next time send a copy to labor and delivery. The midwife and her staff aren't really the problem- the labor and delivery staff is.
I loved that birth plan and am sad that its lost. For the most part, I had gotten almost every single thing I wanted. Least anyone question- I will be the first to say that NONE of what I wanted was unreasonable, dangerous, foolish or unresearched. Most of my requests were really basic rights- for example the right to birth wearing what I wanted, the right not to have the bottom half of my bed pulled out from underneath me just as it was time to push. Seriously- who the heck wants to push out a baby with your butt hanging off the bed? Who thinks that's a good idea? The right to be notified, and consent to anything put into my IV (which I did not decline). The right to eat and drink. C'mon. What pregnant person wants to go for a several hour stretch dehydrated and starved? Not me!
Other points of contention included the right to walk around whilst in labor- this is apparently a problem for the hospital staff because of the all important fetal monitoring. Now, I am all in favor of fetal monitoring. If I'm lying in bed, I'm more than happy to wear the monitors. Truthfully, I enjoy the sound of the baby's heart. I'm not opposed! But goodness, sometimes I might want to take a stroll down the hallway! I might want to walk around to speed things up. When I get back, I'll put the monitors back on. Fortunately, no one argued. I didn't ask permission I just did it and they didn't say anything. Turns out, I liked sitting in bed better than walking anyhow, so I guess it was a win/win for all of us. I also wanted to push without stirrups. Seriously, I am not a frog in science lab about to be dissected. I wasn't asking for anything particularly unusual- just to deliver on a bed. A full bed. Not half a bed.
Let's see. What else. Oh, I asked that the staff not remind me that an epidural was available. I wrote that if/when I became interested, I would bring it up to them. And bring it up I did. They were pretty compliant on that one. I knew ahead of time that the midwife really wanted one on board but that she was open to what I wanted.
The biggest bone of contention occurred with the stuff that unfortunately was the most important to me. The stuff that occurs after the baby is born. I asked that I be able to hold my baby (note the words "MY BABY" not "THE HOSPITAL'S BABY) for more than the ceremonial three minute usually allotted to new parents at delivery. I wrote that whatever needed to be done with the baby could be done with her in my arms. I researched and decided to proceed with the vit K shot and the HEP vaccine and was happy with those choices. Cord was clamped immediately due to our cord blood collection kit for Brandon. I was really only asking that my baby be left in my arms. Well, you would have thought I'd requested something that was really pushing the envelope. One nurse "cautioned" me that if "Baby isn't doing well, we'll have to take it to the warming table." Seriously? I assured her that obviously, if the baby were not doing well, I would have no objection to them giving her the help she needed, even if that meant I had to let her out of my arms for a minute. Said nurse then breathed a sigh of relief and said "Oh, well, I'm glad you aren't one of those crazy moms! I guess you DO have some common sense!" Who, exactly, are "those crazy moms?" You mean the ones who don't think a little bit of oxygen is cause to rip a newly born baby out of its mothers' arms and thrust it under big bright lights, naked and alone? Those who think baby could receive oxygen just as well in its mom's arms as it can on a warming table? Now, I am NOT at all saying that there aren't times when a baby really does need to go to the warming table to be checked out better and get some extra help. Just suggesting that those occasions are not as often as they are made out to be. Just suggesting that for most babies, they could safely stay in bed with mom. Without fear that their temp will plummet to sub-arctic levels, necessitating a protracted NICU stay. Or that their breathing will be somehow compromised. Ahhhh, I digress however. I requested that the baby's bath be given in the room, rather than in the nursery, and in fact, stated that I didn't even want her to go to the nursery just as a matter of routine. I noted that I was perfectly willing to bathe her myself if it were an inconvenience or staffing issue for the nursery nurses. I did get my wish, although the nursery nurse was quick to tell me "You're lucky we aren't busy tonight!" Oh GEE! Thanks a million for letting me handle MY BABY'S care as I see fit.
There was ONE issue where I did not get my way. One issue I had to cave on. Photography. Our hospital does not allow photography during the pushing stage, nor any photography of the birth. Now, least anyone holler "oh gross!" I wasn't looking to have pictures of her head crowing or of the unsightly mess (though I maintain that if I wanted those pictures, they would have been my right to take) I simply wanted pictures of her freshly born. The hospital instead, "lets you know" when you have "permission" to start taking pictures. Really. PERMISSION TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR CHILD. This doesn't sit well with me, probably more on principle than on actual logistical desires. I told them that I would not follow their policy and the nurse had a cow. She insisted that the policy is in place because "most babies are born bluish and it can be upsetting to family members and friends to see pictures of this." Really. Who the heck are they kidding? Everyone in that room knew the real reason is L.I.A.B.I.L.I.T.Y and the fact that this is what their lawyers and insurance companies have advised them to put into rule. If they screw up and something is wrong with you or your baby- they certainly don't want it captured on film. I started to argue against it but feared that they'd only call security on my husband and have him escorted out and it didn't seem worth all that. Later another nurse told me, "next time just do it and don't bring it up for discussion."
Then comes the lovely two day stay in which the nursery staff wags their finger disapprovingly if you let your baby sleep more than four hours and didn't wake her to feed! Golly gee, you'd think I didn't have 8 other kids at home. To date, I haven't starved a baby yet! I understand hospitals have their policies but I also have mine. I don't wake sleeping babies. Period. Not unless they are jaundiced or a preemie, or otherwise sick. My 8 pound baby girl, was going to sleep all she could. And so was I.
Sadly, I have lost my oh so fun birth plan. I guess I'll get to enjoy the fun of writing up another one. I'll post it when its done. It will probably not contain all the humor and sarcasm of my first one. This one will be shorter and to the point.
Item number one - a better anesthesiologist. A real one. Who can make an epidural actually work.
Item number two- Nurse "picture police" is not allowed to approach my door. I tell you, I am SOOOOOO tempted to actually take a "head crowning" picture this time, autograph it and mail it directly to her. How gross would that be! I am sitting her laughing just thinking about it.

Nana is okay!

My mom is home from the hospital. Turns out she had a gall bladder attack. She's released from the hospital and back at home. She says that while she was in the emergency room, she had to share her bed with my sister Ashley! Sometime after she shared with Ashley, she ended up having to move to the chair while Ashley hogged up the bed! Only my sister would have my sick and in pain mom sitting in the chair, while she snoozed on the bed!
Glad to hear that Mom is okay. The doc said she may never have another gall bladder attack again, or it could be recurrent. Hopefully not. When I talked to her on the phone, she was already planning on what she was fixing for dinner. We all know my other sister Katie likes to come home from work to a clean house and a hot meal- the fact that Nana is fresh from the hospital isn't likely to change this!

Please pray for Nana

My mom is in the hospital. I don't have all the details just now. I know she was having heart pain last night and went into the emergency room. This alone is troubling to me, because my mother does NOT easily go to the hospital or a doctor's office. She is among the millions of uninsured and thus doesn't seek medical care unless she really feels its emergent. Anyhow, at the hospital they discovered she has gallstones, either as the cause of, or in addition to whatever is going on with her heart. They wanted to admit her to the chest pain center and do a stress test in the morning, but due to her lack of insurance they agreed to just keep her overnight in the emergency room until her stress test could be done in the morning. Though this sounds uncomfortable, and I'm sure it was, it is actually a good thing. This means she'll only be charged the ER visit and stress test, and can avoid the bill for admission. I am hoping she isn't stressing herself out over the bill, because I don't want her heart to be affected.
Hoping to get the results of the stress test soon. Not sure what is going to happen with the gallstone issues. I don't know how minor/serious they were, or what they were/were not planning to do about them. I'll keep everyone updated when I know more. I did hear from my sister that Nana is very cranky. Go figure...

Ali went potty!!!

Alexandria went potty! On the toilet! Like I've been begging her to do for several months now. Would you like to know what finally gave? I told her she could have a piece of candy if she went potty on the toilet!!!! I should have known- my kids LOVE candy, as do most, so I should have guessed that would be the key to motivating her. Sure enough, I can't keep her off the potty now! She asks to go every ten minutes trying to earn some "Canny." Isaiah and Sydney are howling mad that they didn't get a piece but I really want to reserve it for successful potty trips only. That way it will motivate them too. One of them is next as soon as Ali gets the hang of it. Please pray that this will stick and we're on our way to one less kid in diapers!

17 Weeks already???

On Wednesday, I was 17 weeks pregnant. Where has the time gone??? Time is really passing quickly and its hard to imagine that we're almost to the halfway mark. On one hand, time moving fast during pregnancy is a giant plus- I am thankful to be out of that yucky first trimester stage- where I was always feeling sick and very tired. Time passing quickly also helps alleviate the anxious wait to meet our new son or daughter. On the other hand, as we are ever hopeful that this will be the last baby to join our family, having time pass quickly takes on a little bit of a sad connotation. I want to enjoy and appreciate every week and each milestone as it comes- I don't want to rush it. So, I guess its a mixed bag.
I scheduled our 19 week ultrasound or the 25th of November- the day before Thanksgiving. I'm hoping we'll see a healthy, happy baby dancing around in there. The imaging center we use won't allow us to bring the kids and will only allow Albert to come in for the last half of the scan, which totally stinks but what can you do? I requested the technician that I like, the one we've had for the many scans on the twins and a couple for Sydney. The tech we had for Kambree was absolutely horrible so I wanted to make sure we didn't ever have her again! Hopefully we'll have Judy the tech, since I put in my request and all, and will have a great experience.
I'll update with our findings after we get home.
Have a great weekend everyone. Ours is busy again. Football banquets. Lots of fun, but lots of time.

Shot Or No Shot?

My midwife's office called me this afternoon, to let me know that they have received their batch of H1N1 vaccines and would I like to come in to get one.
I paused for just a second and then said that No, I didn't want one.
Now, I am plagued with worries over whether or not I made the right choice. The correct choice. The one that puts my baby and myself at the least amount of risk.
The funny thing is, had I chosen the opposite and said that yes, I'll be right in for the vaccine, I would still be thinking the same thing. Did I make the right choice? The one that puts my baby and myself at the least amount of risk?
I know that the reality is, there is no such thing as no risk. There is a risk either way, and by deciding to get the shot, or not to get the shot, I'm really just exchanging one set of risks for another. Much the same as when I decide whether or not to vaccinate my children for various things, or whether to delay their vaccine. It's never risk free, either way- its one set of risks or another.
The other funny thing is that in all probability- regardless of the risk of vaccine versus no vaccine- the vast majority of people who chose either will end up totally fine. So how much risk are we really talking about either way?

So, heres hoping I made the right decision (which I made, incidentally, because the H1N1 vaccine is simply too new and untested for my comfort level). I'm hoping I don't regret this decision later on. I wish I could say I feel confident that I did, but the truth is, I just feel like I made the best choice possible with the information available at the moment.

Sweet Sydney is Two!!!

Our beautiful little girl turned two years old yesterday! It was a pretty low-key birthday. We did some family stuff and took her to a basketball game. We'll have her party and Kambree's party combined in a couple weeks.


I can't describe how much joy and happiness Sydney has added to our family. We had prayed for a daughter for many years and now we have three of them! They are each so different, yet so beautiful and so delightful.


Sydney warms my heart each and every day. Of all my children, she is perhaps the most attached to me- the one that would rather sit on my lap and cuddle then run and explore and play. The one who needs me to tell her she's okay when she is crying before she can run on and play, and the one who is devastated and heartbroken if I have to scold her for anything. She's the one who will sit still on my lap and listen to me read an entire book- not for the story, but for the time together.


It's a very special relationship that I have with her. It's been that way since the moment she was born. She arrived after a totally easy delivery and only made me push 3 times before she slid out simply and painlessly (something I never truly recognized the vaule of until Kambree's birth a year later). I remember so vividly the first time I saw her and thought she was so beautiful, even all bloody and goopy and not cleaned off yet. She was born mad (and frequently exhibits a horrible attitude even now) and was instantly hungry. True to her personality, she wouldn't calm down until a nurse brought in a bottle of formula and then she sucked down over an once- right there in the delivery room at about 15 minutes old. She still eats like no other.


She is a very sweet girl (when she isn't mad or hungry) and so incredibly beautiful with her big brown "mouse eyes" as Brandon calls them. We all adore her and I have trouble even remembering a time when she wasn't part of our family.


Happy birthday sweet Sydney. We love you so much. We are so proud of you and can't wait to watch you grow!